Monday, December 19, 2011

KAV DEBUNKS SOME COMMON HOLLYWOOD MYTHS

Hollywood Fakery Can Cost People Their Lives!

Ok, this is kind of a strange article but yet another news story has prompted me to write it. See, yet another person has died trying to respond in a crisis the way they do in the movies...but real life is not the movies so, he died.

Ok what happened was a guy was in a quickie mart when a robbery went down. He figured he'd be a hero and smash the guy in the head with a beer bottle, thus knocking him out. Well, he busted the bottle across the guy's head, but it didn't knock him out, it only pissed him off so he turned around and shot dude.

I have a good friend who got in a bar fight and smashed his beer mug against the guy's head. What happened was the mug split in two and sliced my friend's flexor tendon on his third digit. That finger is currently unmovable and stiff, as a Huntington Rod tendon graft is a pretty difficult surgery and he had no medical insurance.

People died in the San Fransisco earthquake of 1989 when the Bay Bridge collapsed. See, the bridge was shaking, and there was a gap in the bridge-they wanted off, so they figured they would rev their engines and jump their car across, like in the movies. Well, the moment their cars left the pavement it began to fall at 9.8 meters per second squared. And they fell to their deaths. See, without a ramp then the surface is fairly level and you will not soar through the air like in the cop movies and make it to the other side.

Also, when a bullet hits someone, do not expect them to go hurling through the air from the impact. Do not expect them to move at all. A bullet hits the receiver with the same force that the gun kicks back-an equal and opposite reaction. The guy shooting the gun doesn't go flying through the air, does he? I have seen people shot and not even know they were shot and continue walking.

I wonder how many people have been annoyed late at night when their spouse tries to kill them by injecting an air bubble into their vein. "What the hell are you DOING, Barney? Let me sleep." An air bubble is completely harmless. I have watched a two foot long air bubble enter my vein through an IV line and my heart didn't explode. I just yawned as I watched the harmless event.

In the movies, when a killer attacks someone and they smash a statue or something into the killer's head, stunning him, the victim always runs off in a panic, and the killer gets to recover and renew his attack, thus killing the victim. I wonder how many people have died mimicking this Tip: if you have your proposed killer stunned on the ground, begin smashing him as rapidly as you can with the nearest hard object until he's a dead, bloody pulp. Do not give him 'time to recover'. Cripes.

I had a friend once get in a minor rear end collision and she immediately leaped out of her car and began running. She thought it was bound to explode, like in the movies. Whenever two cars impact in the movies they immediately explode. This virtually never happens in real life if it ever has happened. The car may slowly ignite, begin burning, then blow up after the fire catches hold ....but....an immediate explosion? Not likely. Wonder how many people died leaping out of their cars into traffic.

Hollywood has a lot of blood on it's hands, man. Hey guys-what you do people take as real. They model their lives on your output. Example, Taxi Driver and HINCKLEY? Take a little more care, man. Ok, I hope I have saved some lives here. And made movies better in the process. A twofer.

That's a wrap.


A. Kaviraj is an artist and writer at Champion City Comics. His works include Dr Death vs The Vampire, Doctor Death vs The Zombie, and The End of Paradise.

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