You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or paper clip in seconds-unless its a door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise time you are watching.
If you need to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak German. A German accent will do.
If the town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or wild beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any room in Paris.
When paying for a taxi, no one ever looks at their wallet, they just pull out a bill at random and stuff it at the driver.
When a car crashes it will immediately explode. I checked with the highway patrol and they have never had a case of a car exploding after crashing. Then they asked why I was interested in explosions so I hung up.
Medieval peasants will have perfect teeth.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it will be necessary to turn the wheel vigorously every few moments.
All bombs come with a large red digital readout so you can see just when it will explode.
It is always possible to park directly in front of the building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he's been suspended. And he'll usually meet a witness and have a hot dog standing up somewhere. Sometimes it's a taco.
No one knocked unconscious will ever suffer a concussion. And, they'll remember what happened to them just before they got knocked out, which is impossible.
All telephone numbers begin with '555'
When being chased through the city you will always be able to hide in a St Patrick's day parade-any time of year.
All grocery bags will contain a stick of French bread.
The ventilation system of any building is easy to access, large enough to fit in comfortably, cleaned and dusted regularly and polished to a high sheen, and allow you to travel anywhere in the building without difficulty. They are made of a special metal that does not make loud crumpling noises as you crawl through it. They will be well lit by invisible lights. there will be no airflow moving through them.