Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Kav & Tony Break it Down is nothing more than two long-time comic book readers making fun of the Golden and Silver Age Superman comics. We understand that these books were written for a juvenile audience but we could not resist reviewing these classics. Please note that no comic books were hurt during the review. 

Kav and I decided to give the Superman and Action Comics titles a break, so this week we are starting our review of Jimmy Olsen #108 titled 'The Midas of Metropolis'.


Page 1

Kav: OK, we see Jimmy is rich in this story. Of course any rich guy has to sit out in front of a motel watching flamenco dancers on TV with his gold Rolls Royce and a ROCKET in the courtyard.

Tony: It's funny to see Superman flying in with a basket of cash for Jimmy who is dressed like Thurston Howell, III from Gilligan's Island. After reading this first page, it seems to me that Jimmy's crib already rivals that of Master P's crib and MC Hammer's 'Hammer Time' circa 1991. Apparently, Jimmy purchased these items without paying for them first. I guess in the DC Universe one can purchase a hotel, rocket, a gold Rolls Royce, a horse, etc by saying, "I'll take it, and Superman will deliver the cash in the morning".   

Page 2

Kav: Jimmy is told how hard it is to spend money-guess Washington didn't get  the memo-and that if he can spend a million in 24 hours he gets another million. He can only spend 50 grand max on each item. OK numbnuts-don't screw this up-you need to buy 20 items at $50K each.

Tony: Looks like the 'Gospel of Wealth' philosophy went out the window with this comic book, folks. Also, I have a feeling someone watched or read the novel Brewster's Millions. Instead of doing the right thing like giving money to charity or to his family, Ron Hilton, a millionaire playboy, decides to teach Jimmy Olsen a lesson from the grave. It is the second page and I'm already at a Lewis Black level of rage. It's not hard to spend money, Ron. It's very easy to squander money on useless gadgets and junk. Most of you have watched MTV Cribs and have seen large amounts of cash wasted on Scarface and Kiss memorabilia. I'm amazed that someone wasted time putting a silly game into their will. Jimmy Olsen needs to call Charles Barkley and MC Hammer to see how he can lose a million dollars in 24 hours.   

Page 3

Kav: I guess Superman wasn't busy in 'another galaxy' because here he is working as a security guard at a dead rich dude's house. Supes explains that he's been asked to guard the money and act as an errand boy for this whole deal. I didn't know you could just ask Superman to do stuff for you. "Hey Supes-can ya squeeze me a bag of high quality diamonds? Oh yeah and go into the earth and grab me a boulder gold nugget". Then Jimmy says, "Great Supey when I need you I'll signal with my watch like"...so....uh, Jimmy? Why did you have to demonstrate to Superman how the watch works-he built the damn thing.

Tony: Thumbs down to Superman for being some dead guy's bitch. Double thumbs down to Jimmy for being the dumbest man on the planet by not breaking the rules to help the needy. Good luck wasting money, Jimmy. Remember, don't give it to homeless shelters, hospitals, medical research centers, orphanages, battered women's shelters, starving children, dying children, the unemployed, non-profits, etc.  

Page 4

Kav: OK, WTF? Jimmy immediately buys a high end 'wardrobe'. I guess this doesn't count as 'more than one of the same thing' as the rules specified...if so, stop right there Jimmy. Your mission is over. Just tell the owner of that establishment to provide '"one million dollars worth of clothes." OK, then Olsen buys a gold Rolls. This mythical car exists only in comic showrooms, to be purchased by people who just got rich. I know because I went to my local Rolls dealer and there was not a single gold plated model on the lot. So I left. PS the artwork in this issue is stupendous. Look at the last panel man. Great job Curt Swan and George Klein. This was before Google and all those drawings were freehanded.

Tony: Olsen starts with clothes and that's a rookie mistake. Go big, dummy. Buy the mansion, if there is one circa 1950s/60s, in that price range. Make sure that property is located next to a body of water and purchase a few yachts. Once you've purchased a place to live then fill it with the expensive art and high-end furniture and appliances. Then buy one of every car available at the car dealership. Not only can you buy a gold Rolls Royce in the comic book world, but you can purchase art from a public gallery. Nice. I'm sure the person that donated those gifts to your art gallery are pleased that they were purchased by some buffoon who is playing a game with some dead guy's money.  

We'll end there for today, but stop back next time to see what Jimmy does with his millions.

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